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Why is the child aggressive? Vekerdy ​​answers

Why is the child aggressive? Vekerdy ​​answers



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Little Luci grows up in a two-headed, smart, balanced, loving family of families, though she's a bit aggressive at the playground and fears some kids. What can be done and what can cause the event? Tamás Vekerdy ​​answers.

Why is the child aggressive? Vekerdy ​​answers"My little boy, Luci, is a two-year-old in July. He's a very smart little boy, he talks almost fluently, he says, he sings, he is cute, kind, has a lot of love in it, .
We have a loving family, her dad cares a lot about her, we try to give her all the love and desire from babyhood to the present day, and we still cherish her. Grandparents live far away from them all, but they often see them, and my parents spend a week there, praying to each other. I was breastfeeding until fifteen months old, we nursed a lot, even though her baby was rocking, but we slept with us most of the time and still loves sleeping with her. Then calm, so one of us always sleeps with him.
Lуci is very friendly, loves children, but our concern is that she regularly punishes the little ones: first she kisses them at the playground, she wants to be cuddly, and when she does not mean it to the kids, she is fine.
Sometimes you just stumble on the little ones, or even act on them. At home, we have the same thing with us: making love, hugging, telling, singing, and then dumbing down, humping, hollering, biting, and anyway, I try to explain to him that he shouldn't, he shouldn't.
Today they came home from the playground with their father that one of the mothers who knew Lucky well was giving birth to a baby warning because several moms had complained about the children being lucky. It was really bad to hear that. I do not know what to do. I talk to him a lot about it, with his father and his grandparents, that he can hear how ugly this is, and I tell the dad on the phone what Luci did that day. I think you understand what I'm saying, even though the aggression remains. I don't know how to calm it down. I flushed his hand with a bit of momentum when he punished me, but I know and I see that aggression only gives birth to aggression. I also know that this is an age-old characteristic of moms in similar shoes, but I do not want my son to be in the apartment! I always try to drain the energy in the fresh air, go for a walk, ride a motorbike, and stay down to the playground most of the time after sleeping. Please help, as I can help my son, ourselves, and of course the little kids in the housing estate? "

Vekerdy: "In creative people, whose action, inhibition of activity is not restrained, aggression is always higher"

Yes, the aggressive level of children, especially the son, grows around the age of two. We also know that children who grow up in a warm-tempered environment are sometimes quite aggressive because they are not afraid of being downcast. However, this "badness" is only one side of the behavior, the other is what you yourself say is smart, friendly, their imagination unfolds, they have a lot of confidence.
But in general, in creative people, whose deeds and activities are not blocked, there is always a higher level of aggression!
This was not helped by the expectation that "the little ones should not be sinned" or by the fact that they should be "loved." Rather, I would say that it is not necessary for such children to play with children at this age, and especially not for younger ones. If this is the case and the conflict explodes, there is no need to explain that much - at that moment, I break the rude game and bring the kid. I understand that you have the incentive to do so - but you can't!
One of the consequences of the much-contested coexistence, as we have spoken of many times, is that the child is afraid of being "thunderstorms" or of being "bourgeois" at the very least. They create an inexhaustible excitement that can manifest itself in "wrestling" daytime pursuits (or running into irreplaceable circles).
Too much hugging, kissing, wandering, awakens the need for uninterrupted "possession, which again cannot be met, and strikes aggression. is not the tension that this daily obligation exerts? Because if it does, it can affect the child, which he or she responds to with tension, and with its explosion and aggression.
In the past, we talked about the fact that the mother of the Yekana is carrying mothers around their bodies all day long, giving the mother's body - and emotions - warmth ... Outward focused attention is an important balancing force! When this is lacking, the child goes through some kind of failure and responds aggressively to each interruption of lovemaking.
Rudolf Steiner says in adolescent Waldorf pedagogy that significant intellectual writing during adolescence requires conscious attention to the book. If this does not happen, then the teenager is served with erotic and power "tickles".
Two-three-year-old, "conscious", "boy" aggression also has this character. (Note: bites and teeth are common!)
I think in all these cases - as we have spoken about this many times - unambiguous prohibition (and blocking) in place. For example, I crouch down on the kid, hold his two arms, and, with determination, as he was saying in the past, say, "No!" Not this!
We also need to know that these things are volatile, but they themselves, but yes, there is a case where we have to "definitely" regulate. All of this only effective if you have a good, confident and emotionally warm relationship with children, and rarely do we have such prohibitions, only in very few cases, but then definitely. Further Readers' Questions and Answers Tamás Vekerdy ​​The Parent, the Psychologist Answers 2. c. kцnyvben.
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