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How do we get started on educating a child? - Vekerdy ​​answers

How do we get started on educating a child? - Vekerdy ​​answers



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Most parents are precariously awake at the time of enlightenment, and in the present generation, the time for the big talk is coming much sooner.

From the letter I read: "With interest and anxiety I read Sex on the net articles. True, my baby will be only three years old, but I am still wondering how to talk about" how, when, how to talk about sex " Do not bother me and what to say, so I can ask when what should I do?How do we get started on educating a child? - Vekerdy ​​answers I once saw a Swedish book that comically tells the story of a family life where a little brother is born (sooner or later we can expect such an event), and where the father and the mother tell each other exactly what they say. the sperm, their union, must be known, but it was somehow nice and everyday, at least it seemed to me at the time, and it was not very scientific, more adventurous. Of course, I also remember that my aunt was horrified by the "obscene images", as she said, because we could see the abbot, the mother, and of course the children naked. (I didn't think she was obsessive, that is, she was crazy, naughty, nasty. She was kind, she was deceptive. Of course she found her "inappropriate.") But I'm not sure you would be embarrassed by these things I should talk to my child as well. I think back to my own childhood: How did I know these things? Do I remember maybe when I was ten or eleven years old I was looking at medical books? We had it at home The human body, I studied it. But that is how I actually learned the "things" I can't remember. I was nine or hot when my mother first spoke to me about menstruation. But it was as if I had just heard about the girl. Now, if I figure out what I'm going to say to my daughter when she notices my woman's tummy, I still have the answer, but if she asks me how she got into her little brother? So, how do you answer objectively and well, so that it is good for him as well? "
Answer: Of course, the way we've talked about this is, of course, if we were not talking about "sex" with the kids (the mere physical technique), bodily relationships always with feelings, personal feelings (And in this sense, the more interpreted, creative power is "eroticism", "love"). How far can you go? And when, how long? The children are extremely tactile towards themselves! If you ask, they ask as much as they need to know. If our relationship is good, they usually ask (not always!). Especially the first kids, who still can't talk about these things with their brothers and sisters, and usually ask sometime in high school when they "know everything" (at least badly).
(This is when the anxiety-inducing craze comes up that, for example, the mother "bumps" the child - what if "I, too, fall into the toilet and brrrr!") Children often say, "First of all," is the child coming out of his mother's belly? " Answer: Yes. "I was born there too?" - Yes, I've been wearing a lot here - under my heart. (The word in this conversation refers to feelings, as in the language of lovers, and it is also anatomically accurate and true; in fact, to him as Andalusian music…) Anxious parents sometimes ask:
- But if you also ask "where did I get out?" - Mother's Choice:
- Here's the fight out of me, between my two legs ...
And if you ask me how you got in there, I have an answer, but I have to tell you first, that good, really interested kids don't shy away from logging their questions, they are on a yarn, their requests are interrupted by reveries, they are dream-like. (If only some physical or mental grief did not bother them - but more often, they disappear.) The answer is as follows: - If two people love and love each other, the male, the father, can separate the body from the body. , where it combines with a seed. This will make the kid. That's why kids have moms and dads ... Yeah, but if you ask me where you're going, what do I say?
- ask the worried baby. - In the bosom of the earth, where one pees; but there is a hole in the mother's body that the kid goes out on and this little part can go through ... Of course, there is no such conversation as I just mentioned, just in the imagination of an anxious parent, to illustrate in these examples that every question can be answered simply and truthfully, but that it does not overwhelm the emotional state. we are already in the situation as if we are anxiously thinking ahead: oh my god what am I going to say if you ask me this ... Of course, we all look at medical, educational and other books if we have more than a dozen - or first - and we all hear a lot of things already in our environment relatively early (or even rzу бllatokat), we can not йs бltalбban egйsz visszaemlйkezni felnхttkorunkban exactly what, when and how "we have learned." This also suggests that ancient taboos neglect sexuality, eroticism - these "come to the root" requests. Source of the article: Tamás Vekerdy: The Second Question of the Respondent Psychologist Answer Book 2.
  • Tell the kid this instead of Gуlyamese
  • Don't give birth, no? Taboos in the family
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